what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
