I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
