Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
