I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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