she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
