she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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