he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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