They should really pass out barf bags in church
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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