He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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