my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
