I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
