I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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