Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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