There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
