how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
