my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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