Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
