My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
