white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
