hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
