I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
