I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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