OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Small penises have feelings too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
