ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
