you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
