that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Randomize
