Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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