Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
