As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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