Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
