WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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