...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My ATM looks so different sober.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
