Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
