If that was your dad, he is hot
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
