So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
