remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
