I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
