he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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