Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
