okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
