wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
