I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
