Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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