wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
