I wanna passion pit in your ass
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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