Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
