life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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