I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
