i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
