when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
