Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
