omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
